The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Verdict: uncircumcised.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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