I wannas sexs uuuuu
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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