If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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