My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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