I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
