sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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