My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
they're like a gay fantastic four
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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