Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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