So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
