what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
