tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
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walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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