it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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