Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
