Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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