from now on my penis is your penis
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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