i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
