It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
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It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
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You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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