The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
