So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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