As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I want to be your penis for a week.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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