i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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