I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
