u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
how can u be prego again
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
