Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
FUCK WHALES
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
