Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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