I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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