you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
