Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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