I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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