he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
