Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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