well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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