there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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