Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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