I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
