i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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