That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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