nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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