It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
