Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
