dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My dick has a subreddit
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
