; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
