He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
