Sry I called you an 8
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
