So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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