She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
