so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
