I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
