i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
