Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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