Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
