You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
