THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
