giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
