My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
