Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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