I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
