I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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